Marriage During the Pandemic: For Better or for Worse?

According to a survey conducted by Verywell Mind across the U.S. from January 25 to February 2, 2021, 27 percent of the respondents stated that their relationship worsened because of the pandemic, while another 27 percent indicated that it improved their relationship. The remaining 46 percent stated that the pandemic did not affect their relationship.

Marriages That Are Falling Apart

Couples whose relationships were not solid even before the pandemic are more vulnerable to breaking up due to the pandemic. Issues that have been swept aside before suddenly become unavoidable. Given the overall stress brought about by COVID-19, the strain becomes unbearable.

One of the pain points is the division of labor. In most homes, women do the bulk of the household chores. Before the pandemic, this was often covered up by the time men spend away at work. When both partners work from home, the disparity in doing household chores becomes apparent, and women finally speak up.

When there are children, division of time for childcare and supervision of distance learning for school-aged kids also becomes an issue. The difficulty of juggling work from home, chores, and childcare is too much for these couples. Differences in childrearing also crop up when both parents are home all the time. Couples may begin to contradict each other. One may be too strict or the other too lenient. This can also be confusing for the children.

For couples who have been accustomed to having many activities outside the home, the sudden imposition of pandemic restrictions has made them feel imprisoned. They are bored at home, realize that each other's company is not enough stimulation for them, orbecome irritable with each other.

There are also couples who have opposing views toward health and COVID-19. Maintaining the household bubble will be difficult in such cases. One may be inclined to follow all safety protocols, while the other may be resistant. They may also have opposing views toward vaccination. This is a fundamental issue that can be difficult to resolve. If they have children, the problem of having the children vaccinated is also a big decision to hurdle.

Finances also become a significant issue, especially when one or both lost their jobs or faced salary cuts. This adds to the pressure that couples sometimes take out on each other. Ironically, financial problems are also often the reason why couples whose relationship has already been broken decide to postpone divorce during the pandemic.

They stay together to save on rent and other expenses and cannot afford the cost of divorce. This may have been one of the reasons for the decline in the rate of divorce, in addition to court closures during the pandemic. In the meantime, being stuck with each other only worsens their relationship.

Marriages That Stand Strong

For some couples, spending more time together during the pandemic has been a good thing. It enabled them to know more about each other and further affirmed how much they like and love each other. For these couples, being together all the time is not dull. Instead, it enables them to pursue more things together, even at home. They try new recipes, do home repairs and redecorations, play games, and enjoy their time together. These are also the couples who share chores and childcare willingly. They love having to spend more time with their children.

These couples are facing the difficulties of the pandemic as a team, including any financial problems. They work together to cut down on expenses and find alternative streams of income. Even those in extreme need work together to find sources of aid from the government or nonprofits. Instead of destroying their relationship, these challenges serve to strengthen their bond.

Whatever Is Best for Everyone

Many factors determine whether a married couple stays together or goes on separate ways during the pandemic. What is most important is that their decision is based on what is best for both now and into the future. When children are involved, their well-being must be prioritized.