6 Pieces of Advice For Husbands & Fathers Wanting a Divorce

The first piece of advice for you is that you need to think everything through carefully. Ask yourself, ‘Do I really want to end this marriage? Is this a temporary circumstance which will make us better off once we’ve resolved it?’

Many people make decisions based on anger and file a divorce on a whim. If you recognize that you’re acting this way, then you might regret it later on.

Think about everything thoroughly. Bite your tongue and have some patience. Think of the impact of the divorce on you, your wife, and any children.

 
If you still feel that your marriage is beyond repair after thoroughly working through your issues, then you can benefit from the next steps.

2. Don’t Get Your Children Involved

If you’re convinced with your decision about getting a divorce, be sure not to get your children involved, especially if they are below the age of ten. You have to remember that you are getting a divorce from your wife. Your children have nothing to do with it.

If you feel that the divorce will have a tremendous impact on any of your children, then have a conversation with them about why you’re getting a divorce. Reassure them that it’s not their fault. Never talk badly to them about their mother. This will likely have a negative impact on their mental growth. Even if you get divorced, your children should still be your responsibility. You need to ensure their proper growth.

3. Come to a Mutual Understanding with Your Wife

Often, during a divorce, the couple constantly throws accusations and insults at each other. They rarely come to an agreement with each other because they’re unable to have a proper conversation. This will only prolong the divorce case.

You and your wife may need to appear before the court to resolve the issue. Not only will this cost you precious time, but a lot of money as well.

So, no matter what the case, you and your wife need to have a mutual understanding about the divorce and have respect for each other. This is only achieved through mature and frequent conversations. Often, most problems can be solved just by expressing thoughts in a calm and cool manner.

4. Rights Over the Children

Remember, the children have nothing to do with your divorce. Even after you get divorced, you will still be the father of your children and your wife will still be the mother. Don’t let the divorce impact this father and mother relationship. Your child should have the right to visit and spend time with both of you however they like. This is necessary for their mental and emotional growth.

However, if you feel that your wife is incapable or even unsafe to be with your children (violent, mentally ill, etc.), then you need to get the rights over the children. To do this, you need to convince the court that the children would be better off with you. You also need to show the court that you have the monetary capability to bear the expenses of the children.

5. Get Proper Counselling and Seek Help

Many people believe that they are care-free after a divorce. But that is rarely the case. Divorce often has an enormous impact on both parents. As a father, you will have more of a strain with your children and have to adapt to the new arrangements. There will be other people who will keep asking you about your divorce also. This will slowly make you more frustrated, possibly making you avoid your responsibilities as a father. Even if you’re no longer married, you’re still a father. Failing to raise your children after divorce will have lifetime consequences.
So, get yourself proper counselling to get relieved from all the frustration and anxiety. There are a lot of good counselling organizations in San Diego that can help you.

You can also contact your family. Seeking help from other divorced fathers can give a general idea of how to navigate the future.

6. Understanding the Father’s Rights in San Diego

Since San Diego is a county of California, the divorce laws and the rights of a father are similar. For example, both San Diego and the state of California prefers you to have joint custody of the children.

But there are some rules specific to San Diego. For example, if you want to get a divorce, you need to be a resident of San Diego for at least three months.

After a divorce has been filed, your spouse needs to provide the paperwork within 30 days. Even if she doesn’t, the case will proceed anyway.

Final Thoughts

Marriage is intended to keep a husband and wife together for life. Sometimes difficult circumstances can tempt us to opt for a divorce. The consequences are long-lasting and potentially devastating for your children. This is why it’s so important to try to work through your issues before going down the path of divorce.

If you decide that divorce is required, make sure to protect your children as much as possible, continue to fulfil your father responsibilities, and maintain respect for your spouse throughout the divorce process. If you are completely sure then you can call a San Diego divorce lawyer for further advice.

But remember, we usually underestimate the strain of moving on and overestimate the joy of freeing ourselves from marriage. Be sure to make this big decision carefully.